Beginning the Adoption - Home Study

C and K are our two miracles. I realize that now. Conceiving them was difficult. And once they were born, due to complications, I was unable to ever conceive again. Parenting the twins has been the most wonderful experience we have ever known, and we knew we wanted another child. With a frozen embryo remaining from our attempts to have the twins, we tried to conceive through surrogacy. Our wonderful surrogate worked with us for a year, and even with the best embryos we had no success. So, it was time for another approach.

Two sets of close friends of ours had both adopted a child from Russia. After a brief respite, we were able to regroup and began investigating adoption. Our close friend and neighbor, who adopted her son from Russia at the same time our twins were born, directed us to the home study agency she and her husband used. Kevin and I debated whether to adopt from Russia or perhaps another country. We also spoke with a domestic adoption attorney. After checking references for the agency and getting through the holidays, we started the home study in January. The home study agency would be doing our home study and post-placement reports. They referred us to a placement agency in San Diego.

We are hoping to adopt an infant. When we started, the placement agency director told us that the time to receive a referral was 3-4 months for an infant. So I drew out a timeline, estimating how long it would take to complete the home study paperwork, how long to wait for BCIS approval, how long to complete the dossier and receive a referral. I was hoping that we would be able to bring our new child home before the end of the year. I don't know how realistic this is now, since the adoption process has slowed in Russia and the referral could take up to 6 months, or more! But I am still hopeful.

There are so many interdependent pieces of paper that are needed. The home study, which is a complete evaluation of the prospective parents and family, must be completed and submitted with an application to US Immigration (BCIS) for permission to adopt an orphan from another country. The home study is also a required portion of the Russian dossier, the paperwork required by the Russian government.

A nice thing the home study agency did was provide me with all the forms and templates in a multi-colored notebook with pocket folders for each page. It helped keep the paperwork organized, because I had a stack of papers for BCIS, a stack for the home study agency, a stack for the placement agency and a stack of copies for myself. They were also incredibly helpful when I asked questions on the phone. Our social worker was very calm, reassuring and gracious. I found we had to make revisions to the home study so that it would past muster for the dossier, and she was incredibly flexible and helpful doing this.

I have to say that the home study was a lot of work. I had to balance all of our accounts just to get an accurate picture of our finances. I had to schedule doctor appointments for all five of us. Kevin had to request multiple letters from work verifying his employment and insurance. We had appointments with the social worker. Fingerprinting was no fun, because the day I chose to go I was pushing my grandmother in her wheelchair, with two kids in tow, waiting in line at the county building, only to find out that I didn't have enough cash! I didn't have a checkbook and credit cards were not an option. So, my grandmother and I pooled our money and we managed to get her fingerprinted. Fortunately I was able to return later after visiting the ATM and managed to avoid any line and get it all done. Having Grandma able to wait in the car with the kids was a blessing!

The home study agency also provided us with some reading homework and we had to take the online course, With Eyes Wide Open. Both were really good, although I was starting to get discouraged because the purpose of reading these materials is to prepare you for all the different problems you may encounter once you bring your adopted child home. It was overwhelming! Fortunately, at about the same time I started calling references for the placement agency, and after hearing each of their stories I was encouraged and happy to hear of their successes. (Yes, references are supposed to good stories that shine. But these stories were true.)

Two days ago we finally received the dossier copies of the completed home study in the mail. This means that the home study was also sent to BCIS and now BCIS will begin processing our application to adopt an orphan (I-600A). We should be contacted for more fingerprinting in the next two to three weeks. (Oh boy.) When we sent our application packet in to BCIS they returned it saying that my check amount was incorrect. They claimed I had paid too much for fingerprinting. So I included a cover letter stating that we were fingerprinting three (3) people, and that 3 * 70 was $210, and I sent the check back. This second time they cashed the check. Relief! BCIS approval may take from 8 to 16 weeks I'm told. Hopefully sooner rather than later, because this approval is a required piece of the Russian dossier, which needs to be done before
a referral can be granted.

The Home Study took us about 2 months to complete, from the mid-January to the end of March. As soon as I had my portion of the Home Study paperwork completed, we signed the contracts with the placement agency and received the dossier checklist.