Wednesday, August 30, 2006
The End of Summer Vacation

I finally figured out what it is that I am depressed about. I felt this change coming to our lives with the start of kindergarten for the twins, but I couldn't really put my finger on what it was that was bothering me. Until tonight. The night before they start kindergarten I finally realized that my freedom with the kids is disappearing. They are going to be in school every weekday now, required to be there smack in the middle of the day since we had asked for afternoon session. My freedom to pick up and go to the beach, or toss them into the car and head to the zoo, ride the train or even lay around all day in pajamas has been severely restricted to weekdays and holidays shared with everyone else. I cherish that time that we had together, and I mourn that now they are growing up and their time with me has to be shared with a teacher and classmates.
I know that this is a very important and necessary step in our lives. I know that they are ready and eager to go to school now. I know that the school they will be attending is good and the kindergarten teachers have all been lauded. I also know that while we have kept busy this summer, there have been times when they've driven me nuts. Summers are hard because it seems like my time with them is compromised during the day because I have to fit in the cleaning, cooking, errands and laundry that won't end. Today they asked me why I don't play with them very much. Ouch. What I want to do more than anything is sit and play dolls with K. And I have. And I want to build train tracks with C. And I do. But I don't seem to have to have the stamina to do it as much as I would like, and surely not as much as K and C would like. What is it that has changed? When they were babies it seemed like they consumed my every waking minute. I could barely do one load of laundry, unload the dishwasher or prepare a meal for the day. The rest of the time was spent with them. Am I wasting my time on things that don't matter now? August has been really fun, and also very difficult because I've not really had much of a break from the kids. The babysitters moved away or were on vacation the whole month. Now that school is starting, I will be able to get some chores done while they are away and also have a little time to myself. Then I hope that I will have more energy and devotion for them when they are home. Our schedule is going to be weird though. Mornings at home, school from almost noon to three. And then some tired kids to come home. I'll have to find some way to not squander the morning time... which I'll be more than apt to do if I'm not careful.
There's no excuse for my whining, when I look back and see what wonderful trips we have had this summer. I'm simply adjusting back to reality when we've literally been to FantasyLand!







And lastly, and of MUCH importance:
Our corrected I171-H safely arrived in the mail the day after we returned from our trip. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers!
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8 comments:
It sounds like you had a really full summer. I hope K & C enjoy school and I can only imagine how conflicting bringing them there must be for you.
p.s. Yay on the I171H
I can completely identify with you on losing the sense of freedom with your kids. Hubby's day off is Friday and we usually plan family fun stuff on that day, it is taking us a while to get used to the fact that D will not be free for these things any longer. She goes to all day Kindergarten.
So glad you got your I171-H and that it's correct!
You have had an amazing summer with the kids. I can only imagine how hard it was to send them off to school.
Adjusting to school starting is SO hard. I hate having a demanding schedule too. I think about homeschooling sometimes for that reason, but I just don't see myself as a good teacher. Once a groove gets going things will start to get better. Summer is WAY to short.
What a fun trip to Disney. We always have fun there!
we've been looking into preschools & kindergardens for our children (since we'll be doing the older children thing). it seems funny to me to have them and send them off to school right away. i'm hoping we'll find the right mix.
any chance you are going to the october 7th picnic?
At least they aren't going off to college...
yes, please let us know if you have to head down here for any reason... it would be nice to meet! :)
Thanks for having dinner with us Sandy! Jennifer and I had a great time hanging out - we need to work together again, I miss those good old times. Although full time mom is more fulfilling I bet. :-)
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