Love Monday

I love Mondays.

After a long week and busy weekend, on Monday morning M's interventionist shows up at the door with a smile and a big bin of toys, ready to spend the next two hours working with M.

The weekends are hard because M has no structure to her days. We are tired from the activities going on and when M gets tired she is uncooperative and unresponsive. It's difficult to spend the intensity of time with her that she requires because the twins needs attention too. By the end of the weekend I am drained and anxious for Monday.

They call themselves behavioral interventionists. I suppose this is the most accurate term, but try explaining this to someone who doesn't have any idea with Applied Behavioral Analysis is, let alone autism. I usually call them therapists just to keep it simple.

These saintly people have been coming to my house 2 to 3 times daily for 2 hours at a time. The program directors also drop by to watch the sessions and to work on parent training with Kevin and I. In October we had her 6 month assessment and review. We were all very hopeful, but the data on the page said she still wasn't even near her peers in social, cognitive or other skills. The program directors pointed out though that the progress she had made wasn't measurable on those scales yet because those first 6 months were spent teaching her to attend and she was doing it! They were all very fond of her and because she only had a year to go in the program before she turned 3 (and aged out of the county funding) they wanted to push her harder.

Starting in November more sessions were stepped up to 3 per day. A new interventionist was added to the team. Parent training was increased. And guess what. M started requesting things by pointing. Never before had she asked for anything. This past week M started making sounds for what she was requesting. "Buh" for bottle and "Bee" for beads. M started imitating even more... clapping whenever we clap, dancing, dusting, sweeping, pushing buttons on her toys.

She tests me more. Throwing her sippy cup to get my attention. Standing in her high chair. The occasional bite. Purposely ignoring me. That one is tough.

Another thing that M has developed is an intense attachment to Daddy. I have read that developing a strong attachment to one parent is a good thing because it means that the child will eventually be able to generalize that attachment and then begin attaching with other members of the family more easily. I see this happening between M and C. This morning when he came into the kitchen for breakfast M was chasing him around happily and leaning all over him. And K got her first long-awaited kiss this weekend. That was a huge milestone because K was patiently - so patiently - waiting, knowing M had given each of the rest of us kisses already.

But I have to wonder if M's attachment to Daddy isn't just a bit obsessive. She's going through separation anxiety with him if he even puts his jacket on near the door or steps into the bathroom. I know this may be a good sign too... I remember the twins as babies having meltdowns whenever I stepped out of the room. But last night as I was settling M with a bottle before bed, Kevin briefly stepped into the room to say goodnight. He left, closing the door, and for the rest of our time together M refused to look at me. She would only stare at the door in anticipation. It was strange, and a little disheartening. What was motivating this kind of behavior...? Is it emotional, or compulsive? Kevin's been doing a lot more early morning and go-to-bed nurturing lately and we decided we'd better balance that out. When he's around, I'm pretty much the wet dishrag to M. If anyone has had similar experiences regarding attachment I would love to hear what your take is on all this.

We've been pretty good at keeping M on her gluten/soy/casein free diet. Until the weekend before last. She snagged a Twix bar from C's room, ate two red-dye plaque tablets out of the bathroom drawer, and was given bread by a clueless guest at a birthday party. The first two days we didn't see any changes and then suddenly she was a space cadet. She would stare at some odd thing, something with angles and shadows, and just laugh with a goofy smile. She hasn't been feeling pain from head bumps. She let me hold her without squirming to get down. Didn't answer to her name. Finally after 3 days of spaciness, she moved into the can't stop moving, agitation phase. Yesterday and today she seems more like her normal self.
Thankfully it didn't throw her off too much in her sessions. But if I had any doubts that the diet was making a difference I don't any more. That was just plain weird and unpleasant.

I do love Mondays.