Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Pink Room
Most days have been pretty good since the sun's been starting to hang longer in the sky. But this damned bloglines has me following more blogs than usual and there are some pretty good ones of folks that have recently come home with their little ones. One blog in particular has been very touching because a little one came home to three siblings and so far they have been getting along well. It made me think about how C and K will do when we bring a little one home, finally. Will they be okay?
My worst imaginings are that the child we arrive home with will be so demanding and emotional that we will all be stressed out and at each other throats and I will wonder, "What on earth have we done??"
I finally took the step that I've been thinking about doing for more than a year now. I ordered a bunkbed for the pink room. Last year when we tuned up the master bedroom that my grandmother had used for the 10 years she was with us, we also gave the other two bedrooms new windows and paint. We painted the bedroom that C and K share yellow, with the idea that it would be C's room. Then we painted the other room two shades of pink, with the intention of it being K's room. But then I never really had her move into it. C's anxiety about being near K had calmed down, and they both seemed so much happier to stay together in the same room. They are buds. So the pink room was the extra room... sort of K's room, sort of the "baby's" room, sort of the guest room for cousins, sort of the junk room.
A couple of weeks ago I ordered the bunkbed for K and it is going to be delivered on Friday. I also went out a bought a couple of twin mattresses Saturday and they are here now. I went into the pink room to move some odd pieces of furniture out of the way to make room and a huge wave of memories swept over me. This is the room that was once the nursery for the twins, so many of my memories of them when they were babies are in that room. I was packing away a lot of baby blankets, crib bedding and so forth. We'll also move out a changing table, because in all likelihood, the infant girl we are hoping to bring home will probably already be walking. Dang, there it was again... my sorrow at having my babies grown up, with little hope that there will be another small baby here. (And not my grandchild!) I thought I was past it, because I'm perfectly happy having a toddler again and am looking forward to it too. But the babies are no longer here.
Now the pink room is ready for the bunkbed. It will have a white bunkbed, a crib, a bookshelf and K's little desk. I figured out how I could fit a dresser in the closet, so now I have a little more space, as the room isn't as big as C's room.
I am torn now. K's room is almost ready, waiting for her. But suppose she takes ownership of it and then FINALLY we get a call to meet and soon after bring home a little sister. Should I keep them together in the pink room? Should the room be devoted solely to the new child and K gets displaced for another year? I'm at a loss for what the sleeping arrangements ought to be. We don't have another bedroom, really. We have a very large playroom upstairs with a guest bed in it.
I think K needs the pink room, especially since C is really starting to need some space from her. He loves her, but he just needs a break from her wanting him to play "kitty" all the time. Today I broke up a spat because C was making yet another "No girls allowed!" sign. What I predict is that as soon as K and C get tucked into their respective rooms Friday night they will be lonely and sad, and ask to be with each other. (That is why I went for a second set of bunkbeds. Smart, eh?) We'll see how it goes. When I casually mentioned putting C's sheets on K's bottom bunk she would not even consider it.
Does anyone have any comments on how the sleeping arrangements should work regarding new additions to the family and siblings? I really have no idea how it's going to work out, and am hoping that everyone can be flexible. Even the new baby. Is that too much to expect?
My worst imaginings are that the child we arrive home with will be so demanding and emotional that we will all be stressed out and at each other throats and I will wonder, "What on earth have we done??"
I finally took the step that I've been thinking about doing for more than a year now. I ordered a bunkbed for the pink room. Last year when we tuned up the master bedroom that my grandmother had used for the 10 years she was with us, we also gave the other two bedrooms new windows and paint. We painted the bedroom that C and K share yellow, with the idea that it would be C's room. Then we painted the other room two shades of pink, with the intention of it being K's room. But then I never really had her move into it. C's anxiety about being near K had calmed down, and they both seemed so much happier to stay together in the same room. They are buds. So the pink room was the extra room... sort of K's room, sort of the "baby's" room, sort of the guest room for cousins, sort of the junk room.
A couple of weeks ago I ordered the bunkbed for K and it is going to be delivered on Friday. I also went out a bought a couple of twin mattresses Saturday and they are here now. I went into the pink room to move some odd pieces of furniture out of the way to make room and a huge wave of memories swept over me. This is the room that was once the nursery for the twins, so many of my memories of them when they were babies are in that room. I was packing away a lot of baby blankets, crib bedding and so forth. We'll also move out a changing table, because in all likelihood, the infant girl we are hoping to bring home will probably already be walking. Dang, there it was again... my sorrow at having my babies grown up, with little hope that there will be another small baby here. (And not my grandchild!) I thought I was past it, because I'm perfectly happy having a toddler again and am looking forward to it too. But the babies are no longer here.Now the pink room is ready for the bunkbed. It will have a white bunkbed, a crib, a bookshelf and K's little desk. I figured out how I could fit a dresser in the closet, so now I have a little more space, as the room isn't as big as C's room.
I am torn now. K's room is almost ready, waiting for her. But suppose she takes ownership of it and then FINALLY we get a call to meet and soon after bring home a little sister. Should I keep them together in the pink room? Should the room be devoted solely to the new child and K gets displaced for another year? I'm at a loss for what the sleeping arrangements ought to be. We don't have another bedroom, really. We have a very large playroom upstairs with a guest bed in it.
I think K needs the pink room, especially since C is really starting to need some space from her. He loves her, but he just needs a break from her wanting him to play "kitty" all the time. Today I broke up a spat because C was making yet another "No girls allowed!" sign. What I predict is that as soon as K and C get tucked into their respective rooms Friday night they will be lonely and sad, and ask to be with each other. (That is why I went for a second set of bunkbeds. Smart, eh?) We'll see how it goes. When I casually mentioned putting C's sheets on K's bottom bunk she would not even consider it.
Does anyone have any comments on how the sleeping arrangements should work regarding new additions to the family and siblings? I really have no idea how it's going to work out, and am hoping that everyone can be flexible. Even the new baby. Is that too much to expect?
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2 comments:
My oldest niece and nephew shared a room until they were 7 and 8, respectively. Then my BIL built a bedroom for my nephew in the basement. My sister and BIL were worried about how the kids would do. In the end, the kids found their own way to make the transition. They ended up "camping out" in each other's rooms on and off for months. One night my niece would stay in my nephew's room and then the next night he'd stay in her room, etc. Eventually, the camp outs became gradually less frequent . After quite a few months, the camp outs came to a halt and the kids preferred their own rooms.
I suggest you set K's room up, make it exciting, and then let the two of them find their own way.
man, those are some toughies. depending on how old the new addition is, that will be a big factor. K might want to be close, might really like sharing her room while they are all still young.
but then, what if it's not that cozy? I really don't have any suggestions. see what K says. how flexible she is. be honest, because I think she can do that, she's a smart cookie. :)) all that reading, you know...
and pray. then see what comes...
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